Change : Boon or Bane for Moms

Once upon a time my son would take two naps a day and I had pretty much gotten used to this timetable and planned my chores around his schedule. This worked very well for me, as I got to have time for myself , do my chores and at the same time give a lot of undivided attention to my son.

But off late my son was been beginning to skip his morning nap , throwing me off the hook completely.  I then hardly had any time to do the household chores , and spend time with myself.

I spent most of my time entertaining my son, getting him to do activities and spend less time with the T.V. Being stuck indoors because of winter and having a lot of time on hand I was running short of things to keep my toddler busy .

I was like a crazy woman scouting the internet for activities to keep a toddler engaged and busy, but to no avail. My son wanted me to do every activity with him, he just didn’t want to do anything by himself. This was pretty tiring .And this being his first winter,in Wisconsin, he was getting awfully sick with cold and cough, forcing us to be home all the more.

This was  getting awfully frustrating with me, and instead of looking forward to spending time with my son, I was beginning to secretly resent it. And at the same time was dying of guilt, I mean come on what kind of Mother am I ? who is resenting spending time with her son. I was not prepared for this change. I missed having some time for myself and was beginning to freak out.

This then got me thinking about changes. Changes they say are good for us , especially when we are prepared for it. But what about changes which we are not prepared for ? A sudden death , a loss of job , a catastrophe, a change in the baby’s schedule etc

As human beings are reaction to unprepared changes be it minor or major is self pity. Try as hard as we may we plunge into this dark ocean of self pity. And remain in it for quite sometime, unless we get really tired of it.

And one day just like that I got so tired of all this self pitying.

Ok so what If my toddler is not sleeping more, I cannot live like this rushing through my chores, being tired and not enjoying this time with my son. I get to enjoy his childhood just this once. I am a lucky woman to get to spend so much time with her baby, I should be making the most of it and not cribbing about it.

Since then I have worked around my schedule to get things under control.

I try to get up earlier and get some work done, sometimes I let the chores just be and play with my baby , sometimes I manage to juggle both. I have learnt to stop  being harsh on my self and bid goodbye to self pity the minute I see some signs. When it gets a little too much, I just leave the baby with my spouse, and go away to the gym for an hour, that refreshes me totally. I am getting used to this phase now and thank god that he naps atleast once a day.

Staying at home with the baby sometimes is not so easy 🙂  It is a lot of sacrifice but in the long run is worth all the effort 🙂

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